96: I didn’t get the grant
I didn’t get the grant I wanted and if I did it would mean I wouldn’t have had to teach as much so I wouldn’t have had to worry about the money I needed to keep things going, which, ultimately, means I won’t be able to write as much as I wanted. Money buys the time to have the space for silence. In that space you can focus and commit without interruption to the art. Now I can wallow in my grant grief and curse the sky or I can shift my perception on that narrative and find time to write anyway.